If you can listen to the Greatest Showman soundtrack and hear that little girl sing "A Million Dreams" and not lose your ever-loving-shit, are you even a human being?
Seriously Brian laughed at me today while I was dancing with my children while simultaneously weeping to that song - and while I am sure it was funny sight to see me literally bawling with a smile on my face - I just can't be the person that hides my feelings. And that song gives me ALL THE FEELS.
Remember that little girl that used to paint elaborate visions of the life she'd create when she was bigger? I bet you can recall all the things you SWORE you'd do when you grew up. Never once in your mind did you worry about HOW you were going to do it. Never once did you stop to think about WHAT OTHER PEOPLE were going to think of you. Never once did you second guess if you were capable. You were EXCITED to grow up and do those things. You wanted to wake up tomorrow and be an adult so you could be there to see your dreams come to life.
And then you hit adolescence, where you started hear other girls talk badly about one another. And that dream faded while your concern for being "liked/popular/accepted/cool/insert other adjective that makes me want to barf here" grew.
And it grew SO BIG that you basically FORGOT about the things that made you excited. And you grew up and while a lot of things changed, the one thing that didn't was that you continued to make choices for your life based on OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS.
I work with hundreds of women and I am here to tell you there isn't ONE that is exempt from some degree of this. I fought for YEARS to get to a place where I was able to go after the things I wanted confidently without worry of what other people thought of me. YEARS.
So yes. I cry when I hear that song. I cry because I wasted time worrying. Precious time that I can't get back. I cry because I have a daughter that paints elaborate visions of the life she wants. She goes to bed excited to wake up the next day and live in a world she crafts. I cry because no matter what I do, there will come a time where someone will say something to her to make her doubt who she is and what she's capable of. And I can't prevent that. I can only hope that she'll see me boldly living - going after the life I've always wanted - without worry of what others think and say.
Because this is not my practice life. It is my only life. AGAIN, FOR MY BITCHES IN THE BACK, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE GREATEST SHOW.